Parents Just Don’t Understand

Before Will  Smith was  “Will Smith the movie star” or “Will Smith the rapper,” he was The Fresh Prince.  I’m goin’ old school:  late 1980’s.  One of his most famous songs was called “Parents Just Don’t Understand” and one of the lines says:

You know parents are the same
No matter time nor place
They don’t understand that us kids
Are going to make some mistakes
So to you other kids all across the land
There’s no need to argue
Parents just don’t understand

Sometimes it seems that way.  Sometimes it feels like parents are overreacting.  It might feel like parents just don’t understand and sometimes they don’t.  In October we talked about relationships with friends.  In November it’s all about relationships with our parents.  We remember that “Whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus” (Colossians 3:17) but how does this apply to our parents?

The Bible is very specific when it talks about how we should relate to our parents.  God commands us to honor our father and mother.  What does that look like?  How do we honor our parents?  What about when they’re wrong?  What about when they really don’t get it?

The truth of the matter is that honoring and obeying our parents is really about honoring and obeying God.  Even if we feel our parents are wrong, God is never wrong!  We can be assured that obeying and honoring our parents will bring glory to God.

I’m going to tell you a secret that parents don’t want you to know: your parents are not perfect.  In fact, they’re just as imperfect as you are.  That’s why having a right understanding of our relationship with God is so important!  We’re not perfect.  We deserve nothing but punishment and anger from God but what does he give us?  Even though we deserve it he gives us love, patience, and forgiveness.  What does that say about how we should treat other people?  Even our parents?

Does this mean that we’ll behave perfectly or that our parents won’t ever be mad at us?  No—my mom still gets mad at me!  What it does mean is that when we know what it feels like to have God spare us from his tremendous anger we’ll know what it feels like to spare others from our own anger.

Just another one of EVERYTHING in life that’s really about God!

Parents as Pastors

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” – 1 Peter 2:9

The Protestant Reformation spun the idea of priesthood on its head because of this verse!  Until then a priest was a person set apart from the rest of the world holding a special, hierarchical status in the eyes of God and man.  But this tremendous verse has everything to do with us, and not a separated class of “religious elite.”

This verse tells us that we are a chosen people and a holy nation.  Furthermore, we are a royal priesthood belonging to God.  As Priests we have an obligation: to “declare the praises of him who called us out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

In other words if we have been saved by the grace of God then we are all set apart as pastors.  The word “pastor” comes from the Latin word for “shepherd.”

Children are not born with a love for God.  In fact, the Bible is very clear that we all are sinful at birth (Psalm 51:5).  Given this, what Biblical responsibility do parents have toward their children?

One responsibility of a shepherd is to teach.

In Deuteronomy we read these words of instruction: “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live.  Teach them to your children and to their children after them” (Deuteronomy 4:9)

Parents should be teaching their children about God and sharing the Gospel with them; helping them to come to an understanding of the Christian faith and who God is.  Teaching facts isn’t the only thing we should teach our children.  We should teach them how to pray, teach them how to tithe, teach them how to worship, how to love, and all these things by our example.

Another role of a Shepherd is to discipline.  Correction and punishment are ways to guide children along a right path.  In fact, we are even disciplined by God.  Hebrews 12:7-11 says, “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.  For what son is not disciplined by his father?  If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.  Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it.  How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!  Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

So teaching our children the ways of God as well as correcting and disciplining them to stay in that way are important.

A third role of a shepherd is to exhort or encourage.  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).  Encouraging children in their pursuit of God and in the use of their spiritual gifts to the glory of God.

Teaching, Disciplining, Encouraging, and the fourth role of a shepherd (among others) is to Protect.  No parent doesn’t recognize the need to protect our children physically, but how do we protect our children spiritually?  Paul writes in Ephesians 6:12 “for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

First is protecting them against rulers, authorities, and powers of this dark world.  Your children (yes yours!) are exposed to a wide array of authorities teaching them falsehoods about God and our world in school, on TV, in books and magazines, in movies, and other forms of media.  In addition to that, your children are being exposed to sexual impurity in media, advertisements, and especially the internet.  According to University of New Hampshire researches, 42 percent of children 10-14 have viewed pornography on the internet.  66% of those who have view pornography, were not looking for it.  (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16981028/).  How do we protect our children against the powers of this dark world?

Secondly, and perhaps most overlooked (and most ridiculed in today’s culture) is protecting them “against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”  Every day I pray that my wife will be protected from the influence of Satan.  The suggestions and the temptations that he plants in our thoughts.  Parents, as shepherds, should be praying with their children as well as for their children.  That their thought-life would be pure and that they will be protected from temptation and the influence of evil.

I once heard a church pastor describe having children like this: When you have a child you are bringing life to someone who has never existed before but will exist from this point into eternity!  Parents have a primary responsibility of leading their children to a knowledge of God.

That’s what the verse means when it says “You are…a royal priesthood…that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”  Declare the praises of God to your children.  Give them a hope in Jesus Christ and show them the love of God for their souls.  Be a pastor parent!